Funny Kikuyu jokes in Kenya: Description of a Kikuyu
- Doesn’t understand why everybody doesn’t speak gikuyu and is disappointed. They can’t stand hearing one speak loudly to his friend (on the phone, in hospital, in the Indian Ocean)…
- Doesn’t buy Mercedes, he buys ka-plot.
- A kikuyu doesn’t do romance, it costs mbecha.
- Go to the bar without a godfather kofia
-
Does not know how to cook pilau…his idea of pilau is cooking rice and then putting yellowish colouring (pilau njeri/mwitu!)
- Don’t know how to cook food without cabbages
- You cannot be one and not own a pick up… how now! This is for those weekend trips to see an eighth of an acre plot in Isinya. The plot has nothing but dreams of how he will sell it twice the value in a years time!… Oh and the poor wife has to sit in the back coz the guy has to pick his cousin to go show him a piece of dry grass….
- Does not walk side by side with the wife, the poor woman trots along at a distance behind
- Doesn’t Need more than one pair of socks and underwear!
- Cannot say “Santa’s short suit shrunk” …
- Doesn’t Give consideration for a urinal or toilet. Usually constructs with leftovers from a main building.
- You ask him why the Urinal is dirty and he says the place is for dumping human waste and dump sites are never kept clean.
- … does not enjoy his meat if the place is not smoky and dark even at 1pm!
- ….Doesn’t introduce his family by names…. they are introduced in wholesale “aya ni andu akwa”. (MY FAVOURITE) and men introduce their spouses as “uyu niwe mama wa gwakwa” – Or “Uyu niwe nyina wa ciana”
-
Does not live in Buruburu/south B, Kileleshwa or lavington….. he is a landlord there. He lives in Komarock /Rongai /Kiambu
- Can’t admit that he is raking in tonnes of cash…he answers – “tunajaribu tu” to the question of how well business is doing.
- he’d rather live in a house that’s still under construction than pay rent
- Does not use funky names for his business. Njugunas, Gicheris, Kamaus, Wa Mwangi, Wa Peter, Waitherero, etc will do just fine. A version involving his names and spouses will be fine as well; Muthokam Enterprises (Muthoni-Kamau), Jokabi Butchery (John-Nyokabi).
Stories related to Funny Kikuyu jokes in Kenya: Description of a Kikuyu
- Rare Photos of Raila Amollo Odinga
- Animated Photos of President Uhuru Kenyatta from childhood to presidency
- Funniest jokes in Kenya: Who is the funniest man among these men from different Kenyan tribes and regions?
- Christmas Love messages and quotes
- Happy New Year Wishes Quotes – Romantic Happy New Year SMS Messages
- Happy Valentines Day Quotes – Valentines Day Love SMS Messages
- Happy Jamhuri Day SMS, Messages – Jamhuri Day Kenya
- HELB Loan application – How to apply for HELB Loan
- Happy Fathers Day Quotes – SMS, Messages, Wishes, Pictures, Photos
- Happy Mothers Day Quotes – SMS Quotes for Mothers Day
- Best happy Birthday wishes SMS
- How to apply for KRA iTax Tax compliance certificate – TCC
- KUCCPS admission list – KUCCPS admission letters, Download list here
- KRA iTax returns – How to file KRA Tax Returns in iTax Online
- KRA iTax Pin Application – How to register KRA iTax Pin Online
- KUCCPS Application – Online Application and Registration for Degree and Diploma Courses
- KRA iTax Pin – KRA itax Pin Registration: Online Application
- Safaricom Selfcare Login Page – selfcare.safaricom.co.ke
- How to create an eCitizen account for Kenyan citizens
- KCPE results 2016 – How to check KCPE results 2016 Online
- Unclaimed Financial Assets Authority – UFAA Kenya
- KNEC KCPE Registration 2017 Online
- KNEC KCSE Registration 2017 Online