Humour in Kenya
Q: What do you call a handsome, intelligent and sensitive man?
A: A Rumour.
Q: What do u find in an empty nose?
A: Finger prints.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids leave home.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he/she finishes school.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome
Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After awhile you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.
Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
It is not exactly cheating; I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Forgive your enemies but remember their names!
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father He said he wanted more proof.
Some pain is physical and some is mental, but one that’s both, is dental.
If your father is a poor man, it is your fate But, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it’s your Stupidity.
I was born intelligent Education ruined me
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation….What more can I say…
If it’s true that we are here to help others, Then, what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound, People appear bright until you hear them speak
How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
Money is not everything. There’s MasterCard & Visa
One should love animals They are so tasty
Save water. Shower with your girl friend (or boyfriend)
Love thy neighbour. But don’t get caught
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two
Every man should marry. -After all, happiness is not the only thing in life
The wise never marry -And when they marry they become otherwise
Success is a relative term -It brings so many relatives
Never put off the work till tomorrow -What you can put off today
Love is photogenic -It needs darkness to develop
Children in backseats cause accidents -Accidents in backseats cause children
“Your future depends on your dreams” -So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a day -Than waking up every morning
“Hard work never killed anybody -But why take the risk?
“Work fascinates me” -I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives. -Thank God we can choose our friends
When two’s company, -Three’s the result!
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget, The more you forget, the less you know.