Reason Why Luos dont win any corporate Promotion in Kenya

May we dwell in Unity, Peace and Liberty here in Kenya during the election year 2017 so that plenty may be found within our borders.

Reason Why Luos dont win any corporate Promotion in Kenya

SAFARICOM: Hello, am I speaking to Otiende Openda?

Reason Why Luos dont win any corporate Promotion in Kenya
Reason Why Luos dont win any corporate Promotion in Kenya

OTIENDE: In the event that u want to secure my audience, Please predecease the names Otiende Openda with the prefix Engineer…

SAFARICOM: we received your SMS at Bonyeza Ushinde and we….

OTIENDE: Yes, I radiate an apologetic tone for bombarding your systems with an avalanche of messages yester night. You see I left the custody of my Samsung galaxy S3 phone to my 9 year old son so that he could play with as he had developed monotony to his toys. He must have contacted you by error.

SAFARICOM: By error?

OTIENDE: Yes. u see, he wanted to re-unite Zack with his home country (bring Zack home) but didn’t know the exact pay bill number so I told him for the sake of probability, to send SMSes to all pay bill numbers he has ever seen being displayed on my 64 inch Samsung flat screen that also relays 3d images. you must have been a beneficiary of his gesture

SAFARICOM: we received your messages nevertheless and are pleased to inform u that u are our winner this week

OTIENDE: actually it is my son who has won; let me expose this dialogue to him via a conference call so that u can relay to him the good news

SAFARICOM: No sir, we just wanted to inform u that he has won 1,000,000 shillings and would like u and him to come to our station n pick the prize in front of the camerasReason Why Luos dont win any corporate Promotion in Kenya

OTIENDE: I am withered with shock

SAFARICOM: I know u must be too happy

OTIENDE: I was jubilating until u inserted the suffix ‘shillings’ vis-à-vis ‘dollars’ after the digits. u want to assemble me and my offspring before the local TV’s UHF and VHF bandwidths and ask us to jubilate profusely at 1,000,000 shillings? are u aware that such information can leak into CNN or BBC or Fox News and expose me to international shame as my fellow alumni’s from the university of Massachusetts  residing in the Diaspora may recognize me and embed shame to my occupation

SAFARICOM: Excuse me sir but this news would make anyone happy

OTIENDE: if u had called me to alert me that Mack Zuckerberg is selling all his shares to me, then the muscles residing in close proximity to my jaws would have relaxed to depict happiness

Reason Why Luos dont win any corporate Promotion in Kenya
Reason Why Luos dont win any corporate Promotion in Kenya

SAFARICOM: we still require u to come to our offices so that we can explain more details on how u will receive your….

OTIENDE: Then dispatch a helicopter to the coordinates of my dwelling to ferry me and my son to your bearings, then promise to grant us anonymity by hiding our faces when we r receiving the cheque and please please, so that people do not recognize my name with ease, just omit the prefix Engineer.

SAFARICOM: We cannot do that sir

OTIENDE: Then I suggest that u terminate this cellular dialogue promptly b4 I sue u for diminishing the voltage in my cellular gadget’s power plant (batteries) via this misplaced dialogue.

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  • paula judith akinyi

    not all luos r like that…..that guy is too proud 4 nothing…!
    So incase a luo wins, they wont b rewarded….?

  • George Otieno

    Hahahahahaha Very funny

  • But there is northin wrong with that, How did the admin know that he waz a luo, So i shoud not participate coz i may never win, being a luo.

  • But there is northin wrong with that, How did the admin know that he waz a luo, So i shoud not participate coz i may never win, being a luo.but not all luos ,this one is just mad

  • Jennings Argwings

    This is a real rib cracker…thanks 4 making my day;-)

  • Joseph O. Outa

    Don’t tell me that is the reason only Kariukis, njoroges, kamaus and wambuis win!

  • Donah

    Think sam of dem r lyk dat bt others r humble n down to earth..

  • kinywawazi

    These things are thoroughly boring and not amusing anymore… get something else to cloth your bad attitude.

  • Machozi

    God is really wonderful. Even fools can walk the earth!