Reason Why Luos dont win any corporate Promotion in Kenya
SAFARICOM: Hello, am I speaking to Otiende Openda?
OTIENDE: In the event that u want to secure my audience, Please predecease the names Otiende Openda with the prefix Engineer…
SAFARICOM: we received your SMS at Bonyeza Ushinde and we….
OTIENDE: Yes, I radiate an apologetic tone for bombarding your systems with an avalanche of messages yester night. You see I left the custody of my Samsung galaxy S3 phone to my 9 year old son so that he could play with as he had developed monotony to his toys. He must have contacted you by error.
SAFARICOM: By error?
OTIENDE: Yes. u see, he wanted to re-unite Zack with his home country (bring Zack home) but didn’t know the exact pay bill number so I told him for the sake of probability, to send SMSes to all pay bill numbers he has ever seen being displayed on my 64 inch Samsung flat screen that also relays 3d images. you must have been a beneficiary of his gesture
SAFARICOM: we received your messages nevertheless and are pleased to inform u that u are our winner this week
OTIENDE: actually it is my son who has won; let me expose this dialogue to him via a conference call so that u can relay to him the good news
OTIENDE: I am withered with shock
SAFARICOM: I know u must be too happy
OTIENDE: I was jubilating until u inserted the suffix ‘shillings’ vis-à-vis ‘dollars’ after the digits. u want to assemble me and my offspring before the local TV’s UHF and VHF bandwidths and ask us to jubilate profusely at 1,000,000 shillings? are u aware that such information can leak into CNN or BBC or Fox News and expose me to international shame as my fellow alumni’s from the university of Massachusetts residing in the Diaspora may recognize me and embed shame to my occupation
SAFARICOM: Excuse me sir but this news would make anyone happy
OTIENDE: if u had called me to alert me that Mack Zuckerberg is selling all his shares to me, then the muscles residing in close proximity to my jaws would have relaxed to depict happiness
SAFARICOM: we still require u to come to our offices so that we can explain more details on how u will receive your….
OTIENDE: Then dispatch a helicopter to the coordinates of my dwelling to ferry me and my son to your bearings, then promise to grant us anonymity by hiding our faces when we r receiving the cheque and please please, so that people do not recognize my name with ease, just omit the prefix Engineer.
SAFARICOM: We cannot do that sir
OTIENDE: Then I suggest that u terminate this cellular dialogue promptly b4 I sue u for diminishing the voltage in my cellular gadget’s power plant (batteries) via this misplaced dialogue.
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