Secrets of a successful marriage in Kenya

Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Mombasa, and mine is in Nairobi.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said… ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’
She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’

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