A prayerful Kenyan Husband

Dear Lord,

Thank you for opening my eyes to realize that there are beautiful women out there. You know God, when I met my wife , I thought she was meant for me but I came to realize that WATER and OIL do not mix.

It is true that I like to look at other women but I only do that to appreciate the beauty of nature’s creation. But sometimes I just can’t resist these women after all I am and have my weakness. My wife calls me PAPA. I often feel like a pensioner.

Other women call me Darling, Sweetie, Dear, then I feel young, energetic. My wife likes complaining and nagging or is too tired to go out with me. Every weekend she goes to attend so and so’s funeral and goes straight to kitchen parties.

Another problem with her, Dear Lord is, she is good at spending my hard-earned money. When we talk about budget she is referring to my salary. Her salary is her secret and confidential.

She has appointed herself my minister for finance but my economy is not improving. Her family comes first in everything. When I bought my mother a pair of Kitenge for during this chilling weather, she complained that I know our financial problems but I keep giving People our money.

When she bought her mother a pair of boots, jacket, blanket and a heater, she said that I know her mother is struggling. (Oh God). I visit my parents once in a lifetime but her family needs her constantly.

God, I met her at a party. But these days she wants to remain indoors. No friends should visit us without appointments. I must sit and watch the Isidingo, Catarina & Sebastian, The Bold,Days, Generations etc.

Every Sunday she drags me to this Nigerian Christian like church. I had to part with Kshs 30,000, as an offering to the Pastor. My church is too boring for her liking.

Heavenly Father you will realize that I have lost some weight. Every day she wants me to take her to Steers or Nandos for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My favourite ugali wa ‘Kuon anang’a or Bel’, Apoth, Dek Obambo is a thing of the past. She will never allow such nonsense in our Townhouse.

Oh, God I yearn for my favourite Guinness Madiaba, Tusker Lager and Jonny Walker on rocks – the only beers and whisky with a surname. These days I only drink mineral water.

So God I hope you know why do I always look at those ladies and wish that I could spend more and more time with them.

Oh God won’t you please take her headache away. She has it every day, especially when we go to bed!

AMEN

A prayerful Kenyan Husband

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